Welcome to Delaware GLU

Delaware Gays and Lesbians United
Because we must stick together!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Oops, I did it again!

For the past few days, I've been processing a psychological principle which I first learned about in college. Unfortunately, there is only so much information you can take in before you reach satiation, consequentially one forgets things from college. Recently in traffic, I experienced an incident that reminded me of this psychological phenomenon, for which we are all guilty; so I'd like to take this moment to highlight it and explain ways to overcome it. This principle is known as the Fundamental Attribution Error.

The Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE)
[copied from Wikipedia]

"In social psychology, the fundamental attribution error (also known as correspondence bias or attribution effect) describes the tendency to over-value dispositions or personality-based explanations for the observed behaviors of others while under-valuing situational explanations for those behaviors. The fundamental attribution error is most visible when people explain the behavior of others. It does not explain interpretations of one's own behavior—where situational factors are often taken into consideration. This discrepancy is called the actor–observer bias."

WTF does that mean?

In short: The FAE is an erroneous conclusion people make about others' personalities based on their behavior in certain situations.
Example: "She tripped on the stairs, she must be stupid."
Example: "Hey, that guy swerved in front of me in traffic, therefore I know he is an asshole."

The FAE is declared an "error" because we as humans make this assumption as an accusation to the individual rather than the situation. However, if "tables were turned" and the same situation happens to us personally, we attribute our behavior to the situation rather than ourselves innately.

How do we allow this to happen?

There are 3 primary reasons we commit the FAE, I will try and use simplified terms because I know this might seem complex or verbose.

1: "Karma/ Religion" For those of us who believe in Karma, or any other supernatural forces of right/wrong, we will acknowledge various situations, then assume a person is good/bad based simply on those events that happened to them. This is particularly true when we feel inclined to blame the victim. To explain an example: When we see someone get injured, often we might conclude they're a bad person as if to say we are conscious that "the Universe" knows they're a bad person and is imposing justice onto them. I'm not here to make any statements for or against religiosity, but consider Pastor John Hagee's belief as an example: "I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that. The newspaper carried the story in our local area, that was not carried nationally, that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the Monday that the Katrina came." To some, this notion might seem silly. But how many of us have made such a conclusion? We may not think as extremely as Pastor Hagee, probably because we acknowledge that Nature and such situations happen out of their own accord. Fortunately, this is why the FAE is still understood to be an error; we have the knowledge to overcome this conclusion. This is true when we accept that people as a whole are innately good.

2: "Overlooking the Circumstances" This point will feel like a reiteration of the primary definition. This point occurs when we make the conscious decision to ignore situational factors acting upon people and instead we focus on the individuals themselves as the only resource for their behavior. Once again, I will use the example earlier of someone who suddenly swerves in traffic. We understand the rules of the road. We understand the etiquette involved with driving. Also, in most cases, we cannot see most other drivers. Therefore when someone acts out-of-line to these rules, we will make a snap judgement about them. However, point #2 here states that we will ignore that the individual might be lost, injured, or late; but rather assume then conclude they are instead stupid, rude, or cruel. Those of us who commit this might need to reconsider forgiveness.

3: "Lazy/ Overwhelmed" OK, so now you've been educated on 2 of the causes of the FAE so far. Let's just say you have made the decision to change for the better. So you walk out the door and head to the Mall. You get in the car, and "some girl" cuts you off at the first stoplight! Instead of considering her to be a bitch, you allow her to be a kind person and simply tell yourself she was being inattentive. It was an unfortunate situation, but at least now you know she's not innately a bitch but rather was having a bad moment. Congrats, you just managed to overcome feelings of the FAE. Now you're in traffic on I-95. Look at all those people around you in traffic; some of them are swerving! Look at all those people in the mall parking lot; someone just took 'your' parking spot! Look at all those people in the mall; someone is talking so loud on their cell. Point #3 is about the fact that there are too many situations that exist for us to monitor each one. We either become overwhelmed or once again lazily revert to our formerly presumptuous self. This merely becomes an excuse, the FAE can indeed become diminished once we are aware of our faults. The occasional reminder might be necessary and that's OK. We all make mistakes.

In conclusion, the Fundamental Attribution Error is, as its name implies, an error. It is a mistake we make simply because we are human. But we as people have the knowledge to embrace this error and reduce our personal habits of criticism. If you must judge someone, at least give them the benefit of the doubt. Start with discernment, then with forgiveness, and finally with love. Consider Jane Goodall's words as you go: "The greatest danger to our future is apathy."

Explaining Trans-life

Understanding the 'T' in LGBT

"Much of the persecution transgender people face stems from ignorance and fear. I will be the first to admit that I didn't always understand or appreciate the transgender community. It was only after meeting community members and reading more about their struggles that I started to gain a better appreciation of the challenges so many transgender people face in this country. " -- Psychology Today

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tasty Tuesday

A special acknowledgment for the openly out Iron Chef Cat Cora for this recipe:

Grilled Watermelon with Prawns

2 cups water

1 cup granulated sugar

2 red bell peppers, cored, seeded, and chopped

2 jalapeno peppers, seeded and chopped

1 clove garlic, crushed

3 cilantro sprigs, chopped

1 pound (16 to 20 count) prawns, peeled and deveined, with the tail left on

1/4 cup olive oil

2 limes, halved

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

2 teaspoons chili powder

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 small seedless watermelon, sliced into 1/4-inch wedges, rind on

Unsweetened coconut, toasted for garnish

1 scallion, sliced for garnish

Preheat the grill.

In a small saucepan over medium heat, add the water and the sugar. Cook over low heat until the sugar is dissolved. Pour 1 cup of the syrup into a small bowl and set aside.

To the remaining syrup, add the red pepper, jalapenos, garlic, and cilantro and simmer on medium heat for 30 minutes, or until thickened and marmalade-like.

In the meantime, toss the prawns in a bowl with half of the olive oil, juice of 1 lime, cayenne, chili powder, salt, and pepper. Place on the hot grill and grill each side until cooked through, 4 to 5 minutes. Set aside.

Place the watermelon on a plate and brush each side with the reserved sugar syrup and the remaining olive oil. Place on the grill and cook on both sides, about 2 minutes.

Once the red pepper marmalade is thickened, place watermelon on the plate with prawns on top. Squeeze the remaining lime over it and spoon on the marmalade. Garnish with coconut and scallions.

Pride Timeline

Contemporary Pride Timeline

The rights movement for gays, lesbians, bi and trans people has a long history that spans centuries and covers the globe. Here are just a few interesting points from contemporary times to represent the changes clseen in the last century. Stay tuned for more, including a timeline that stretches back millennia to the GLBT figures who marked their times.

2009 — Iceland elects the world's first openly-homosexual head of state, Johanna Siguroardottir.
2005 — André Boisclair is chosen leader of the Parti Québécois (Quebec, Canada), becoming the first openly homosexual man elected as the leader of a major political party in North America. The following year, the International Conference on LGBT Human Rights is held in Montreal, Quebec.
2001 — The Netherlands becomes the first country to legalize same-sex marriage. The following year, openly gay Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is assassinated by Volkert van der Graaf.
1997 — South Africa becomes the first country to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in its constitution. In 1981, Norway was the first country in the world to enact a law to prevent discrimination against homosexuals.
1991 — The red ribbon is first used as a symbol of the campaign against HIV/AIDS.
1989 — Denmark becomes the first country in the world to enact registered partnership laws (like a civil union) for same-sex couples, with most of the same rights as marriage (excluding the right to adoption and the right to marriage in a church).
1988 — Sweden becomes the first country to pass laws protecting homosexuals regarding social services, taxes and inheritances.
1982 — The first Gay Games is held in San Francisco, attracting 1,600 participants.
1978 — The rainbow flag is first used as a symbol of homosexual pride
1977 — The province of Quebec (in Canada) becomes the first jurisdiction larger than a city or county in the world to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in the public and private sectors. In 1982, Wisconsin becomes the first state in the U.S. to ban discrimination against homosexuals.
1973 — The American Psychiatric Association removes homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-II). The decision is based largely on the research and advocacy of psychologist Evelyn Hooker who, in 1957, published a study showing that homosexual men are as well adjusted as non-homosexual men.
1969 — The Stonewall riots occur in New York. Police try to raid and arrest gays and lesbians for solicitation at the mafia-run gay bar The Stonewall Inn, but butch lesbians and drag queens fight back, chanting "Gay Power!" which becomes the rallying cry at marches and parades in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles. It took another 10 years before a homosexual rights march occurs in Washington, D.C., the nation’s capital. However, these parades now take place annually all over the world, usually on the last Saturday in June.
1964 — The book "Homosexual Behavior Among Males" by Wainwright Churchill breaks ground as a scientific study approaching homosexuality as a fact of life and introduces the term “homoerotophobia," a possible precursor to "homophobia."
1957 — The word "transsexual" is coined by U.S. physician Harry Benjamin.
1952 — Christine Jorgensen becomes the first person to have sex reassignment surgery, in this case, male to female, creating a world-wide sensation. Twenty years later, in 1972, Sweden becomes the first country in the world to allow transsexuals to legally change their sex, with the government providing free hormone therapy.
1950 — The first sustained American homosexual group, the Mattachine Society, is founded in Los Angeles by Harry Hay. Over the years, the group does a number of actions in the fight for gay rights, including a "Sip-In" at Julius Bar in New York City to challenge a New York State Liquor Authority law prohibiting serving alcohol to gays. This event serves as a catalyst for additional gay clubs to open, namely the Stonewall Inn.
1945 — Upon liberation of Nazi concentration camps by Allied forces, those interned for homosexuality are not freed, but required to serve out the full term of their sentences under Paragraph 175, a provision of the German Criminal Code that made sexual acts between males illegal.
1941 — Transsexuality was first used in reference to homosexuality and bisexuality.
1933 — In Germany, the National Socialist German Workers Party bans homosexual groups and sends homosexuals to concentration camps where countless were killed along with Jews and other groups of people. Similar to Jews who are ordered to wear yellow star patched on their clothing so they are marked in public, homosexuals are forced to wear a pink triangle on their sleeve.
1927 — The Pansy Craze, a period in the late 1920s and early 1930s in which gay clubs and performers (known as pansy performers) experienced a surge in underground popularity in the United States, begins.
1926 — The New York Times is the first major publication to use the word homosexuality.
1920 — The word Gay is used for the first time in reference to homosexual in the underground.
1913 — The word faggot is first used in print in reference to gays in a vocabulary of criminal slang published in Portland, Oregon: "All the fagots [sic] (sissies) will be dressed in drag at the ball tonight." Ten years later, the short form "fag" is first used in print in reference to gays in Nels Anderson's The Hobo: "Fairies or Fags are men or boys who exploit sex for profit."
1903 — In New York on February 21, 1903, New York police conducted the first United States recorded raid on a gay bathhouse, the Ariston Hotel Baths. 26 men were arrested and 12 brought to trial on sodomy charges; 7 men received sentences ranging from 4 to 20 years in prison.

Pre 20th Century Pride Timeline

1892 — The words "bisexual" and "heterosexual" are first used in their current senses in Charles Gilbert Chaddock's translation of Kraft-Ebing's Psychopathia Sexualis.
1870 — Joseph and His Friend: A Story of Pennsylvania is published, possibly the first American novel about a homosexual relationship.
1869 — The term "homosexuality" appears in print for the first time in a German-Hungarian pamphlet written by Karl-Maria Kertbeny (1824–1882).
1867 — On August 29, 1867, Karl-Heinrich Ulrichs became the first self-proclaimed homosexual to speak out publicly for homosexual rights when he pleaded at the Congress of German Jurists in Munich for a resolution urging the repeal of anti-homosexual laws.
1830 — The term "asexual" is used for the first time in biology.
1791 — The French Revolution occurs. The country adopts a new penal code that no longer criminalizes sodomy, making France the first west European country to decriminalize homosexual acts between consenting adults. Prussia, Luxembourg, Tuscany and others follow suit. Then, in 1810, the Napoleonic code eliminates all penalties for sodomy throughout the European Empire. Brazil, Japan, Mexico and a long list of other countries around the world decriminalize homosexuality during the next 100 years. This list does not include England or America.
1785 — Jeremy Bentham becomes one of the first people to argue for the decriminalization of sodomy in England.
1649 — The first known conviction for lesbian activity in North America occurs. Sarah White Norman is charged with "lewd behavior each with other upon a bed" with Mary Vincent Hammon in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Hammon was under 16 and not prosecuted.
1540-1700 — More than 1,600 people are prosecuted for sodomy.
1476 — Leonardo Da Vinci is charged with sodomy. No verdict is rendered at his trial.
1327 — The deposed King Edward II of England dies allegedly by forcing a red-hot poker through his rectum. Edward II had a history of conflict with the nobility, who repeatedly banished his former lover Piers Gaveston, the Earl of Cornwall.
6th century - 17th century — Homosexuality becomes illegal throughout Europe, with punishments including castration, mutilation, hair shearing, amputation, being whipped or stoned, confiscation of property, banishment, fasting, excommunication and being burned alive. Mutilation and execution were also used as punishments for women caught in same-sex acts.
589 — Spain is converted to Catholicism, leading to laws being changed that allowed for the persecution of gays and Jews.
529 — Christian emperor Justinian I blames homosexuals for famines, earthquakes and pestilence.
— Emperor Constantine declares the Roman Empire as Christian. In 342, the first law against homosexual marriage was promulgated by the Christian emperors Constantius II and Constans. Then in 390, Christian emperors Valentinian II, Theodosius I and Arcadius declared homosexual sex to be illegal and those who were guilty of it were condemned to be burned alive in front of the public. However, they continue to collect taxes on male prostitution.
1st Century BCE — The Roman Empire is a time in which art and literature depict homosexual love in a positive light. Like the Greeks, the Romans celebrated love and sex amongst men. The first recorded same-sex marriages occur during this period and homosexual prostitution was taxed. However, like the Greeks, passivity and effeminacy were not tolerated, and an adult male freeborn Roman could lose their citizen status if caught performing fellatio or being penetrated. For more than 200 years, various Roman Emperors marry men in legal, public ceremonies.
326 BCE — Gay/bisexual military leader Alexander the Great completes conquest of most of the then known Western world, converting millions of people to the gay-friendly Hellenistic culture and launching the Hellenistic Age.
385 BCE — Plato's Symposium is published. Plato argues that love between males is the highest form and that sex with women is lustful and only for means of reproduction. Only with men, can the Greek male reach their full intellectual potential. Thirty-five years later, Plato publishes Laws, in which he takes a drastically different approach than in Symposium. Here homosexuality is critiqued as being lustful and wrong for society because it does not further the species and may lead to irresponsible citizenry.
425-388 BCE — A series of satires published by Aristophanes ridicule the effeminate man, the transvestite, and adult males who enjoyed the passive sexual role. This provides evidence that although Greek culture was accepting of homosexuality, they did not accept effeminate males. Effeminacy in men was publicly ridiculed.
600 BCE — Sappho of Lesbos writes her famous love poems to young women, providing the eventual inspiration for the word lesbian. Much of Sappho's work was later destroyed by Christians.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sunday Reflection

If someone offers you help, say yes. Offered help is often a rare opportunity.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Saturdays at Home: Arranging Furniture

Special thanks to HGTV for the information.

Their outline:
1. Take Measurements
2. Estimate Volume
3. It's All a Matter of Scale
4. Create a Healthy Relationship
5. Paint Your Room
6. Think Gestalt

Follow the link below for more detail:

Tips for Arranging & Re-Arranging

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tasty Tuesday: Indian Meatballs

Indian Meatballs with Tamarind Glaze

Top Chef Masters, Season 3, Episode 2 Quickfire Challenge

2 ounces chicken thighs and legs
2 ounces pork belly
2 ounces short ribs
3 cloves of garlic
1 jalapeno
3 inches of ginger
3 scallions
1/2 cup cilantro


1/3 cup canola oil
36 fresh or 54 frozen curry leaves, roughly torn
12 dried red chilies
2 teaspoons brown mustard seeds
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
2 medium red onions, halved and thinly sliced
1 cup skinned peanuts
3 1/2 pounds tomatoes, roughly chopped
9 ounces tomato paste
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon Sambar spice or curry powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt



1. Grind meat to medium grind.

2. Finely chop all remaining ingredients and add to meat mixture.

3. Heat oil in heavy skillet and fry meatball on all sides until browned. Reserve.


1. Heat the oil with the curry leaves, chilies, mustard seeds and cumin over medium-high heat until the cumin is golden and fragrant, about 2 minutes. Stir in the turmeric and cook until the chilies darken, 1-2 minutes longer. Stir in the onions and cook until they have wilted and opaque, 5-7 minutes

2. Stir in the peanuts and cook for 3 minutes and than add the tomatoes, tomato paste, sugar, Sambar powder, cayenne and salt. Cook for 10 minutes, stirring often, pressing the tomatoes up against the sides of the pot to crush them.

3. Reduce the heat to medium and cook until the tomato juices are reduced and the chutney is thick and jam-like, stirring often, for 20-35 minutes. Taste for seasoning and add more salt if needed. Transfer to airtight container and refrigerate for up to 1 week.

4. To plate, serve cooked meatball with chutney.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sunday Meditation

Some call it God,
Some call it Karma,
Some know it as the Greater Good.
But all are in agreement that this world follows
an unspoken rule that all things are done for the greater sense of goodness.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

It's Friday.... so make it fabulous!!!

What is Happiness?

Gretchen Rubin is the author of The Happiness Project, an account of the year she spent test-driving every conceivable principle about how to be happy, from Aristotle to Ben Franklin to Oprah to Martin Seligman. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures on her way to becoming happier.

The Happiness Project

Techno Thursday

Looking for a new song, new artist, new genre everyday?

Soundtrack to My Day

You're welcome.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wednesday's Woman

Fresh from her recent Tony Award win, today we recognize Sutton Foster.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sunday Reflection

All mankind is on a quest for the validation of self-worth. It is a quest to be loved, remembered, and a quest to be declared correct.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wednesday's Man

As many know already, Wednesdays are dedicated to a woman to be highlighted for that day. But this young man sits in a category all his own, dancing on the threshold of genders.

This is Andrej Pejic, the fashion industry's most recent controversy... and gem.

Monday, June 6, 2011

This week (6/6 - 6/11)

This is a big week.... so here we go:

Monday: Pride Skate
Tuesday: Greek Festival
Wednesday: Pride community meeting
Thursday: PFLAG (Wilmington)
Friday: Art is Social
Saturday: Rennaissance
Sunday: Italian Festival

Pride Skate

This is an All Ages event for the GLBTA Community brought to you by Delaware Pride, Inc. This is a Private event so feel free to be yourself!

Monday, June 6th, 2011, Delaware Pride is proud to Present PRIDE Skate from 7pm - 9pm (must be on-time as 2 hours of skating starts at 7pm SHARP)

Admission is $10 Per Skater (Includes 2 Hours of Skating). Skate rental is additional, $2.00 for Regular Skate Rental or $3.00 for Inline Skate Rental.
You can bring your own skates to avoid the skate rental fee.

You can prepay for the event by going to www.delawarepride.org, click on the events tab & then other events. Or you can pay your admission fee at the event to the Delaware Pride rep wearing the Delaware Pride T-Shirt.

Proceeds will help fund the 2011 Delaware Pride Festival!!!

We expect a wide range of ages to attend this event. If we get a good turnout we will turn this into a monthly event!!! Hope to see everyone there.


Get ready for some dancing, skating, mingling, and some unforgettable fun!!

Event Held At:
Christiana Skating Center
801 Christiana Road
Newark, DE 19713

For any additional questions or concerns please send an email to: Contactus@delawarepride.org


Greek Festival

Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church invites the community
to celebrate its annual Greek Festival, Tuesday June 7 - Saturday June 11, 2011 from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., at 8th and Broom Streets in Wilmington.Visitors will enjoy homemade Greek food and desserts, ethnic music and dance performances by the Award Winning Terpsechorian Dance Troupe. Admission is free.

808 North Broom Street, Wilmington, DE 19806


Pride Community Meeting

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011
5 pm - 8 pm

Visit the Brandywine Town Center ~ Red Robin

Brandywine Town Center
6100 Brandywine Parkway
Wilmington, DE 19803


Print out the flyer (flyer available on our website www.delawarepride.org)and give it to your server when paying for your meal.
15% of your meal’s price will be donated to Delaware Pride, Inc.

Invite your friends and print them out a flyer too :)

Please come out and bring this flyer on Wednesday, May 11th to support Red Robin & Delaware Pride, Inc

Feel free to join us in the private room. We are holding our monthly meeting here in the private party room at 7pm. Join us for a night out and help us to raise money for the 2011 Delaware Pride Festival!!



Thursday, June 9 · 7:00pm - 9:00pm

Westminster Presbyterian Church
13th & Rodney Sts
Wilmington, DE


Art is Social

Friday, June 10 · 8:00pm - 10:00pm

Delaware Art Museum
2301 Kentmere Parkway
Wilmington, DE

DJs | illusionary art | $5 entry fee | free beer & wine tasting | $1 beers and glasses of wine

Looking for something different to do this summer? Skip the bar scene on Friday, June 10 and check out the Delaware Art Museum for a night of free beer and wine tasting, salty snacks, and contemporary art and entertainment. DJs William Fields and SquareWell will provide tracks with experimental, contemporary sounds and the illusionary exhibition Perception/Deception will keep you guessing about what’s real and what isn’t. If the art makes you question reality, don’t blame the alcohol – just let Assistant Curator Margaret Winslow explain the shadows that seem to appear from nowhere and how a two-foot high concrete cube creates a bottomless tunnel during a brief exhibition tour. Whether you’re new to the Museum or a regular on the arts scene, this event is the unique night out you’ve been searching for.


Delaware Renaissance

Doors open at 8:00 pm and the meeting starts at 8:30 pm at the First Unitarian Church, 730 Halstead Road, in Talleyville.

The entrance is in the rear at the Youth Enrichment Center. Our meetings are open to all who seek education about the transgendered community, or support in a safe, secure, nonsexual environment: crossdressers, transvestites, transsexuals, transgenderists, their families and friends, and interested professionals.


St. Anthony's Italian Festival

The Culture

For 2011, the Italian Festival celebrates the spirit of the Renaissance and the splendor of the region on Tuscany. Come experience Italy in the heart of Wilmington.

The Food

The Festival offers a wide variety of delicious and authentic Italian food specialties. Experience a virtual tour of Italy during your visit by dining in one of our many outdoor eateries.

The Fun

Find out exactly when and where your favorite band will be playing or come check out all four stages as you sample the food in each cafe.

The Event

June 12-19th 2011
901 N Dupont St.
Wilmington, DE 19805
8 Day Passes are now available for $12.00 (20% discount).

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Mondays are Funny!!!

Mondays are even funnier now that Gilbert Gottfried is doing-voice overs for infomercials!!! Yes, this is real.